my mental health vs.

 

 Some say love is fleeting. That it is like a flash in the pan. There one moment, gone the next.

Some say Love is a gift. To be treasured above all things and nurtured till ones very last breath.

Some say love is rash. For peoples reactions change swiftly when in love. Conforming to the one they desire.

Some say love is Blind. For it knows no beauty, for each persons beauty differs from the next.

Some say love is patient. For it teaches us patience and forbearance, tolerance.

But I say Love is wondrous. Love is never fleeting, it lasts till long after the heart stops beating. It is the one thing that out lasts time for the World kneels before it in awe.

Love, is the single most greatest gift we have.For it gives us hope. Hope that no matter what, the ones we cherish will always stick by us. Hope, that come what may, we know that we are never alone.

Whether it be from a parent to a child, or a sibling to another, or from a Lover, Love is beautiful. In all its forms.

It's the only thing worth living for, worth fighting for, worth dying for, because it is the only thing that lasts.

It is that small measure of peace, we all seek, but few of us, ever rarely find.

~~Written by ME!~~

"Little Wolf" (Becca flashback solo)

///older written out rp I did myself.

// Past catching up with present, older rp idea...random writings. lol

"Little Wolf"

*The name echoed in her mind, pulling her from her readings. It had been years since that phrase echoed within her mind. Years since she first felt its terrible sting as it echoed in her ears, full of spite and hatred.*

"Little Wolf."

*she grit her teeth and closed her eyes, trying not to listen. The hatred melted away and took on a form far more devastatingly haunting. The words shifted to calm, serene, tender almost in its echoings.*

"Little Wolf."

*She stood, forgetting about the book in her lap and headed for the door. She had to outrun it, least the emotions come surging back from behind the door of which she kept them tightly barred. Panic flooded her as she shifted to wolf, but that only made the sensation that much worse, the voice that much louder, the echo ringing till she felt her ears would burst!*

"Little Wolf."

NO! STOP IT! *she shouted as she ran, phasing back to human as if it that would help her escape from the sound that pursued her* You are all DEAD! Leave me be! *She ran till she couldn't anymore. gasping for air, she collapsed in a small pile of dead autumn leaves and curled into a small ball, eyes squeezed tightly shut as images floated across her mind.

Images of the Master who broke her! She remembered the burning pain as he beat her, burned her, marked her for not following his orders. For not killing innocents as she was being trained to do. His words, haunted her over and over for every time she fell asleep, they were waiting.

"You are not a human, you are a Beast! You will do as I command or by the Gods, I will beat the humanity out of you, Little Wolf!"

Even now, she could feel every lash, could smell her skin as it burned as the words echoed within her; but then the images shifted as she shook her head in an attempt to make them stop. Pressing her hands to her ears as she shouted for it to end* PLEASE DON'T! NOT THAT ONE...PLEASE!!!

*The one and only time she had ever felt safe, felt loved. Years after she had been taught everything she knew about death and killing, she had met someone who had tried to save her. Who had fallen for her in every way possible, and had been overly patient with her in teaching her that life didn't have to be dark or miserable or lonely. And the worst part of it was, she had allowed herself to fall as well.

"I will always be here." The voice echoed within her mind, as she bit her lip so hard she tasted blood. "You are mine, always forever in my heart, Little Wolf."

The one time, she had truly cared for someone, had ended in tragedy, for he had been murdered....for loving her. She had gone on a spree that day, and just that little bit of her humanity had died with him. Thinking his killers deaths would satisfy, she found, tortured and killed each one methodically, savoring it to the last moment. But alas, each death only hurt her worse and when they were all dead, she felt empty, hollow...and so had turned to a pack of wolves. She had run as a wolf for centuries before realizing that that wasn't her path and had sought out her Father and his family. From that day, she never looked back...but still...the nightmares were waiting.

Filled with unbridled rage, something inside her snapped, and as she screamed out her emotions, the whole of the earth seemed to shake. Like a time bomb, waiting to go off, she vented till there was nothing left inside to vent, falling to her knees as she gasped for breath again. It felt good...to vent and it helped to center herself. She wasn't alone anymore....*

 Beware the quiet bookworm. They notice more and have dirtier minds than the rest.

@Whisper

#BookConfession bookworm rules 

 

She had been reading for most of the night. The windows were open, allowing for the cool night air to waft in....that it took Becca by surprise when she saw a Butterfly alight upon her hand as she read by the fires light. She let out a soft gasp, but she smiled as she watched the tiny, fragile thing flutter its wings, open and closed as it sat atop her hand.

In her peoples beliefs, Butterflies were spirits of the dead, come back to let those who had once loved them in this life know that they were ok. She wasn't sure if she believed that or not, but just the sight of the small creature, when she had reached a rather sad part of her book was hardly a coincidence. "Where did you come from, little one?" She asked it softly as she put the book down and rose. "Out of season for your kind.....still beautiful though." She walked over to one of the bay windows and lifted her hand out into the night. "Off you go....." The butterfly flapped it's wings, once, twice then lifted into the air. It hovered in front of her, fluttered to land on her chest, just over her heart and then fluttered to brush the tip of her nose before taking off into the night. Words....could not describe her emotions as she watched it fade into the night. Giving a deep sigh, she returned to her book, curling up by the fire. A butterfly at night....odd but beautiful.

"What I love...."

 I love the way the sunset alights the sky just before night comes.

How it makes the sky seem alive in so many colors.

I love how the world feels as true night sets in after dusk.

The sounds of the crickets, the scents of a night breeze as it blows past.

The world is alive in the night as much as it is during the day.

I love how the wind blows through the trees in the mountains,

and through a meadow of flowers on a hill.

The scents, the feeling of peace that wafts within me at such points is heady, delirious even.

I love the way the Earth smells after a rain,

That lovely, Earthy scent that is life, permeating all around me.

I love the sound of a laugh, deep, echoing,

As I cause my friends to giggle or laugh in happiness and Joy.

Because even though I can not always do so, seeing others happy, makes me happy.

I love the smell of fresh baked bread, lavender and Vanilla and leather!

Those remind me of certain things from my past that make me smile.

I love being a listening ear to those who need it, for I know, firsthand what it feels like,

To be lost, to be alone, to be hurting, in silence, for years.

I love the sound of rain hitting my roof during a thunderstorm.

I love to hear a good Opera, a good song, for music is important to me, has a deep impact on my life.

I am a 'mushy sap' at times so yes, I love to hear how much I am loved by those I love in return.

I love to see the happiness and joy in my loved ones eyes.

I love to help others, to give back when I can.

There are so many things that I love.

Big things, little things, it would be impossible to name them all here.

I love my life...even though it hasn't been perfect, and I still struggle, daily, it is MINE.

Anxiety, PTSD, these are just words...and you can rise above it.

One day at a time....

Life is beautiful...find the joy...make it yours....LIVE!

Becca: She had time during the day....

 

She had time during the day, to think about how things had changed for her in her life. Since coming to this new world, she had met the Master of the Manor and they had had a blossoming romance. So many wonderful things had happened since coming here and she wondered, what the future held for them both. She had to take the time during the day to get a few things done, since everyone normally was up and about during the day. Still, she had things to do before Barnabus got up for the night and she wanted to be able to spend time with him.