Things get better,

Take it from me.

Life is nothing but sweet agony,

Yet under the pain, the fear and hate,

Lies something hidden, that which is Great!

Love is all around you, ever flowing,

Ever growing,

It even outlasts time.

So worry not when it seems you are alone or afraid,

For you are just waiting for the someone for whom you were made.

They are out there,

I swear, and you will know them from the start.

For they are the one who understands the song of your heart.

~~Written by ME!!~~

Look behind the fur and the teeth, do you not see me?

I hide behind the fur and claws, but my eyes, themselves Deceive.

When the wolf snarls, and the howls echo the forest,

See not the demons that run behind my eyes,

but to the ME inside.

Call to me with gentle words,

Help me find my way.

I am lost in this form,

This is not who I am, nor who I want to be!

~Written by ME!!~~

 I protect my 'pack',

I am the Shadow on the wall,

I am the sword in the Darkness,

I am the shield that guards my pack and my home.

Look into my eyes and there Death you will see,

if you be mine enemy.

For I fear no evil,

For I fear neither cold nor pain,

For I am the watcher and I see all.

So hear my mournful cry, that echos in the night,

Do you despair or rejoice?

That alone, should be your answer.

Recurring Dream

// I had the weirdest dream last night! Started out like my reoccurring dream...ya know...walk through the dark castle, someone calling my name. Only this time, a hand shot out from one of the adjoining rooms and I was roughly pulled into it, only to see Peter hulking over me, shaking his head as he almost glared at me.

"You are not for Him!" He said with such feeling that it almost made me shiver. "I will not let you seek the Dark, when I of the Light have claimed you. you are MINE, not his!"

then it felt like everything went still in the dream and i heard footsteps coming down the hall. loud, foreboding footsteps, which made Peter push me behind him as he faced what was coming. A tall, slender man, with wavy dark hair, who first looked like Gary Oldmans rendition of Dracula, appeared in the doorway, looking very much perturbed!    He looked at Peter, looked at me and then hissed.

"Why have you stopped my Beloved from responding to me? She belongs to me. Have I not crossed oceans of time to find her?" He hissed.

To which Peter replied, "She belongs to you not, foul one. BE gone! She is mine, and I will defend her as such."

Dracula paid Peter no mind and instead, looked to me with eyes that are so blue, and for an instant, his face changed to the JRMs version of Dracula and back again, as if he couldn't decide which form he wanted to take.

"Come to me, my sweet. You know you are mine. I claimed you when you were young. You belong with me."

It looked like Peter was about to 'go to war' with this Dracula person when suddenly the dream changed again!

Only this time I am sitting in a library reading by a fire, all around me is dark, but the fire is warm. And strange as it sounds, I am talking with someone, only I can't see them. It looks like I am talking to the book I am reading. weird, but it does and I have this weird sensation that this book is very very old and I am searching for something within it, but it wont show me, cause if it does, it knows I will have what I need and leave.

I wake up to words echoing in my mind for hours afterwards.

"Come to me, I await you." ~ Vlad

"You are mine, you belong to me" ~ Peter

"Don't leave me...please...." ~ Book

All three voices tumble in my head all the rest of the day. What does it mean!?

  

August 21, 2022: My reoccurring dream has come back with a vengeance till I literally 'see' it while awake. Does that mean something is coming? If so, it better be good as I can't have one more thing go wrong!

 I am not afraid.

You are not afraid?

No. I am not afraid. To look past the barrier. To see things others can not. To look deep within, in places that man and woman dare not go. 

*wipes away a tear* 

I am not afraid, to look into someones eyes, see their demons and coax them out. For there is beauty in the darkness. There is beauty in all things grey. Things are not just black and white. I am not afraid....to love....even if love is afraid of me.

That makes no sense.

Yes it does. (says softly and with conviction)

Love is fickle, but it is also lasting. Does not matter what type of love you feel for another. Family, Friend, Lover, Mate. It matters not, Love is simply that and always shall be.

Yes yes, all well and good but we were not talking about love. I asked you, are you afraid?!

Afraid of what? what is there to fear? When one has looked into the eyes of Death, as I have, and screamed back in rage and defiance, what left is there to fear? 

*sniffs softly* 

When loss is a constant companion, what then is there to be afraid of? When you look past the barrier, and into a person so well, that you see the TRUE person they are in their heart of hearts, what then, is there to fear? You ask me, "Am I afraid?"

I do. Everyone fears something.

I am afraid of many things. But none the likes you will ever guess. Do I fear Death, or hurt, or pain or loss....No. (whispered softly)

I fear not being good enough. No matter what I give, to a person, of it not being returned in like measure. I fear that the way I see things will be seen as arrogance, or something of that ilk. Trust me when I say, that I have strode a path many would diverge from. Many, would lay down and die then walk. It is not pretty, it is not glorious, but for all my losses, all my pain, I have learned not to fear. To look past the 'masks' people wear and see them! To hear when another is in need, to be there, to care, to give, to Love! 

*pauses and shivers slightly* 

How can you ask me, am I afraid? I am not afraid....not of what you expect me to be afraid of; and you, like many others before you, will never understand that.

*sits quietly, not at all sure what to say.* 

Then the Gods give you good blessings, for you are a strong and deft person. The world needs more like you.

No, my friend. I am just me....nothing more, nothing less. Just me. The world needs only one me. 

*chuckles softly and raises a glass* 

To our good health...and to the things we fear. 

*winks*

Indeed. 

*raises glass and drinks*

 Do not tame the wolf inside you just because you've met someone who doesn't have the courage to handle you.

- Belle Estreller

Evil queens are not princesses

- posted from Ettrick, VA

François Rainville: Not quite right! The evil queen lost her first love and became bitter and cold, that's not an accomplishment, returning to the good side was one, it's good that she had the help of Robin Wood to help her... For Maleficent she's a devil... The new movie has distorted all the real story to make you feel pity for a demon... I really hated that movie. What was wrong in a man wanting to risk is life to save the woman he fell for? Nooooo! Let's make him the bad guy, after all woman don't need to be saved from... a demon. It would not be alright, if she wants to jump from a cliff and die it's her right, you don't have to intervene. Bla bla bla and blablabla! Sorry lol! I really hated that movie. What I mean is there's nothing wrong with being in love, but if you are well alone that's alright too.